The Touch of Fear
by Lily.Rose.James
Summary: Paul has always been opposed to imprinting but then Nora enters his life and everything he ever believed in was thrown out the window and the promises Nora made to herself are flying right out the window too...
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: **"If you want, if you _really_ want to see where this can go then I'm willing to try but if not, you have to leave me alone Paul..." Paul has always been opposed to imprinting, it taking away his pack brothers free will, but then Nora enters his life and everything he ever believed in was thrown out the window and the promises Nora made to herself are flying right out the window too.

**Disclaimer:** I own only the characters/places etc I have added to the world Stephanie Meyer created, everything else is hers!

**AN: **So this is one of ten pack stories (one for each pack member) that I'd like to post, that is if this one is received well. So please enjoy and please let me know what you think!

**The Touch of Fear **

I fear for you  
>I fear for me<br>I fear of what  
>will come to be<p>

-Matthew Densley

**Preface**

"I'm tired of hugging pillows, counting on blankets for warmth, and reliving romantic moments only in my dreams. I'm tired of hoping that every day will hurry so I can get on to the next; hoping that it will be a better day but it never is. I'm tired and alone-"

Paul interrupted me "I'm here Nora, always."

I shook my head, he said that but he wasn't- not always. "You've been pushing me away Paul, I never know from one day to the next how you're going to react to seeing me. I know you didn't want this, or me but I can't keep doing this with you. This isn't easy for me either, I've lost too much already, and I can't get attached to you just so I can lose you as well."

"Nora, please-"he began to beg.

I stopped him. "Let me finish, please." He nodded, so I continued. "If you want, if you _really_ want to see where this can go then I'm willing to try but if not you have to leave me alone Paul, I can't deal with these up and down emotions of yours. It's too much, I can't cope, I'm on the edge and I'm so close to falling."

I was, never knowing how he was going to treat me from one day to the next had me in all sorts of panics. I was getting whiplash from his ever changing moods. Sometimes I was his world and then sometimes I felt like a piece of crap on his shoe.

I didn't know if I could cope without him, but I knew I couldn't cope with him if he didn't start deciding what he wanted I couldn't stay with him.

"It's up to you Paul; I've done everything I can. What do you want to do?"

**Chapter One **

The light flickered, like me it was close to burning out, just giving up. I understood the need, the want to just give up and switch off. Unfortunately it's easier for a light bulb than a human but I was pretty sure I could give it a pretty good go.

The light was fading as I sat by the window; it had been a miserable day in every single way. The heavens had opened in the early hours of the morning, as if it were grieving with me but even the heavens could not shed the same amount of tears that I did.

The funeral had been beautiful but the beauty of it didn't take away my pain, or sadness. If anything it made me cry more and I wasn't the only one, Carol- his mother- held onto my hand the entire time... she never once let go. We were each other's rock yet it didn't feel right, _he _used to be our rock, both of us used to lean on him for support but that support, and him was gone.

'_...run Simba, run and never return...' _the television caught my attention, the _Lion King_ was playing on the channel I had hazily changed it too, it was nearly silent but I heard those words, saw the little cartoon lion run away from the mistake he thought he made, the death he thought he'd caused.

_Run and never return _sounded good, simple, it sounded like an answer._ So run!_

_The Touch of Fear_

Running away isn't as easy as I thought, apparently it takes a bit more planning than just packing a bag and jumping in a car. For one I realised that I didn't know where I was running to and secondly wherever I was going, I would need fuel if my car was going to make it... somewhere, anywhere. Thirdly I was very aware that it was probably the most stupidest thing I would ever do, running away, all because of a Disney film but I needed space, a place that didn't remind me of him. Running was all that made sense.

I pulled up to a garage, hopping out the car and filling it up forgetting to check how much it was clocking up to, instead I drifted, drifted to a memory...

_..."oh we're half way there, oh-oh living on a prayer..." _

"_You're a terrible singer Nora" Matt said smiling at me from the passenger's seat as I belted out 'Living on a prayer' as well as I could. _

_I smiled and laughed with him, "Whatever!" I mock glared at him smiling all the while because I was always smiling when I was around him. _

"_You know we can't keep driving forever, right?" _

_I pouted, "Why not?"_

_He laughed, "Because for one, school starts again in two weeks and two... well because we are running low on fuel." He said pointing to my fuel gage. _

_I scowled, "Smart-ass."_

"_But I'm a smart-ass you love." _

_I tried to bite back the smile, "Sometimes" I said with a playful shrug. _

"_Oh, that hurt. You're killing me babe" he gripped his chest as if he were in really pain and I giggled. _

"_You're such a weirdo!" _

"_Just punch a guy while his down why don't you!" he said throwing his arms out for dramatic effect while fighting a smile, he was losing the fight, big time._

_I laughed softly and spotted a fuel station and pulled in. _

"_Go fill us up then babe," I said smiling before leaning over to kiss him softly on the lips which he returned eagerly, I could even feel his smile while our lips were still locked. _

_He pulled away, far to soon for my liking _"o_f course, we couldn't have you getting your hands dirty could we princess..."_

... "Shit!" I cursed as I saw how much money I had clocked up to $56.87 _well that's just great! _I cursed myself for letting my thoughts wander, especially to the memories filled with _him _it was all still to raw, to painful.

I opened the door and grabbed my purse only realising then that in fact my hands were dirty, smudges covering the palms of my hands. _We couldn't have you getting your hands dirty could we princess _his voice was like a whisper in the wind though it was only just a whisper of a memory, even his voice didn't sound right. I couldn't quite remember the right pitch to his voice.

That scared me more than the memories. Not remembering, slowly forgetting his smell, his voice, his smile. I would rather live with the memories haunting me than forget completely.

"Miss, are you ok?" a man in his mid-thirties was standing beside the boot of my car, looking at me with concern. "You've been standing there for an awfully long time. Are you ok?"

I nodded dumbly, "Ye-yes, fine thanks." I found my voice and smiled before wiping my hands on my jeans and going to pay for the fuel_, the hideous amount of fuel that was costing a little more than I had anticipated. _

The man was gone by the time I made it back to my car which I was grateful for, I didn't do well with strangers, not anymore and especially if they asked me if I was ok. I had been asked that so many times at the funeral, from friends of his I hardly knew and long lost relatives even he hadn't met, it was always the same 'how are you' and 'I'm sorry for your loss' always with a sympathetic smile and eyes filled with pity.

The truth is when someone ask's 'how are you' they really don't want an answer and that's fine with me because I couldn't give them a real answer. So instead I would just smile and so 'thank you, I'm doing ok' and I didn't mean it once but no one noticed because no one really cared.

_The Touch of Fear_

When you don't know where you're going the road seems longer, almost as if it's hoping you don't get anywhere at all. But, finally I made it somewhere, well fate intervened and I found myself stuck somewhere. After passing through many different places including a weird place called Forks my car gave up about ten minutes after passing a sign saying **Welcome to La Push**.

My car chugged to a stop on a patch of small pebbles which I presumed to be the parking area for the beach that lay ahead of me. It was around eleven thirty, the night was well settled and the scene before almost took my breath away. The moonlight reflected on the water, the stars shone in the sky and as I stepped out of my car the gentle wind brushed across my face bringing with it the salty smell of the sea. I closed my eyes and smiled with a soft sigh, something about the sea had always made me smile.

A noise caught my attention, that and a figure stumbling down the sea-front. I could see that the person was male and was carrying a bottle, well clutching it for dear life. Even from afar I could see that he was a well defined male, his frame alone screamed muscular and something about him seemed familiar almost as if we had something in common. So without thinking I locked my car and started to walk towards him, not really knowing what I'd do when I reached him.

I questioned my sanity while walking towards him, had I lost my mind as well as the man I loved. _Maybe he took it with him, my mind and my heart? _Before I would never have just got up and left my life behind or walked along a beach in the middle of the night just to chat to some stranger, a drunken stranger at that. Had grief changed me that much, had I become someone entirely different?

Whether I had or not I wasn't sure but I knew that I had to talk to the stranger. Maybe something intervened, maybe my car ran out of fuel here for a reason...

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><p><strong>AN: So what do you think? <strong>

**For those of you who were reading S H A T T E R E D H E A R T S I'm sorry that I deleted it but I just wasn't feeling the story and I really had no clue where to go with it, and honestly no one really seemed that interested in it. But I promise this story and the nine more that I have already started writing won't lose my interest and I hope you enjoy them as much as I am enjoying writing them. **


	2. Chapter 2

**The Touch of Fear**

**Chapter Two**

I didn't know whether to cough to make my arrival known or not, I decided against it and just decided to sit beside him. He had stopped and sat down, well collapsed, before I reached him so I decided why the hell not! Just sit beside the obviously wrecked stranger.

"Want some?" he said making me jump. He was holding the bottle out towards me and it was clear that it was the only recognition I was getting.

I looked at it, then him and thought _why the hell not! _"Thanks"I said and took the bottle from him and gulped down a good couple of swigs before coughing and spluttering spitting most of it back out.

He laughed at me, the sound rich and gruff, just all round manly. "'got to say it some strong shit!"

"What is it?" I asked still half gagging from the after taste.

"Moonshine, its only thing gives me a buzz these days!" he said sounding rather angry about it all in a sort of slurred drunken way.

"Well you seem a little more than buzzed to me!"

He laughed again and his shoulders shook. He was sitting further forwards than me and hadn't turned to look at me yet, so all I knew was that he had short black hair, well defined back muscles and glorious copper skin that I was beginning to envy.

"Paul"

I frowned, "excuse me!"

"My name is Paul" he said still staring out onto the sea.

I smiled slightly, "I'm Nora."

"Weird name" he said-slash-slurred.

"I guess it is," I said with a shrug. Matt had always said my name was beautiful, individual like me though always argued that I wasn't all that individual.

I tended to blend into the crowd, like what others liked as not to upset the balance. I was a follower, a copy-cat of whoever was around, I didn't like being different even around Matt, I would always cater to his needs, I would agree on the same movie though in fact I hated it and I would always eat Chinese with him every Friday night though I actually hated it even since I was twelve and I got terrible food poising from a Chinese take-away.

"You're thinking real hard, I can almost hear the gears in your head turning." He had turned around unknown to me as I had been staring at the sand by my feet but his voice broke me from my inner thoughts and I looked up... and froze.

He was beautiful. I got that all from his eyes because I couldn't look anywhere else. Dark pools of melted chocolate was all I could see, his eyes to were locked on mine and God knows how long we stayed like that but I didn't care.

I could breathe, I felt as if a weight had been lifted off my chest and all from one, very long, look. I felt my heart race and my breathing turning into pants as we continued to gaze at one another. Finally my eyes seemed to be able to look at other parts of him and I found my eyes following the path of his strong, straight nose only to land on his pink full lips.

"Oh shit" I faintly heard him swear but if I hadn't been staring at his lips I wouldn't have known he had spoken at all.

"PAUL" I jumped tearing my eyes from his lips to see a man who could have been Paul's brother walking towards us.

"What do you want Sam?" his tone was harsh and his face was twisted into a scowl.

Sam was standing next to us now, his frame towering a good six feet, I had to really crane my neck back to even see his face. He didn't answer Paul though, instead he was looking at me, or more the fact that Paul moved to put himself between me and this Sam.

Something like recognition flashed in his eyes but before I could look closer he had looked away, his stare on Paul now. "Get up!" he ordered and I wondered why he thought he could talk like that to another human being, just order them around.

Paul snorted but to my surprise he did get up. _He doesn't seem to be the following orders type _I thought but obviously I was wrong.

Sam grabbed the bottle Paul must have slung to the side sometime between our weird staring contest and the other man showing up.

"Moonshine, really, Paul?"

Paul shrugged wearing a smirk that I instantly hated on him. _Wow, hold up! I don't like his smirk! I don't know the guy, why should I care? _

Suddenly feeling very uncomfortable I stood up too, brushing of the sand and trying not to look directly at either of them. _It's all just getting a little too weird. _

"I, erm, should be going." I stammered cursing myself for sounding awkward and afraid.

Paul instantly stiffened, "You're leaving?"

"Yeah I," then I stopped, I couldn't leave. "No, I can't."

They both frowned obviously thinking I was insane or bi-polar.

"My car ran out of fuel, that's why I'm here actually. I couldn't go any further!" I laughed nervously running a hand through my hair, a nervous habit from my mother.

"Is that your car up there?" Paul asked pointing to the only car in sight.

I nodded.

The man named Sam decided then would be a good time to start talking. "You can stay with me tonight and we'll get your car sorted in the morning." His tone left no room for argument but I tried anyway.

"Oh no it's fine; I'll just sleep in my car then call someone tomorrow, its fine really. Thank you though." I said quickly not liking the idea of staying at some stranger's house, a male stranger at that.

"You're not staying in your car, you'll freeze!" Paul all but growled out the words making me take surprised step back.

Sam must have noticed my discomfort and slight fear. "What he means is that it isn't a good idea, it gets pretty cold here. Plus my girl Emily would kill me if she found out I'd let you stay in your car when we have a perfectly good spare room...with heating." He smiled and the smile softened and changed his whole demeanour. He didn't look so tough and scary and I found myself nodding.

"Ok, thank you."

_The Touch of Fear_

"Here you go, these should fit you." Emily said handing me a set of pyjamas.

Emily was lovely, sweet and caring and I found it funny that I had even been nervous staying with them. It felt like home which shocked me beyond belief.

"Thank you for this." I said not just talking about the pyjamas but for everything, from the soup she had made when I had arrived to letting me take a shower to letting me stay the night. Sam and Emily were good honest lovely people.

Paul was another matter. We'd arrived, he had eaten and then he collapsed on the sofa but not before he gave me lingering looks that confused me. He seemed to care but his eyes also showed angry and resentment. _What had I done?_

"It's nothing, really. I'm just glad you're not sleeping in a car." She said with a smile.

I returned the smile, mine filled with gratitude "me too!"

"Anyway I better let you rest. It's midnight and I think we are all over tired." She got to the door before turning to face.

"Paul's a good guy he just doesn't know it. Give him a chance."

Then she was gone and I was alone. I couldn't even begin to think about what she had said. I couldn't even explain the pull I felt to him, this stranger, Paul!

He was a man of mystery, a complete stranger and yet I felt like I knew him, or at the very least I had to know him.

_I can't feel this way, not now _I thought quickly. It was wrong, my love for Matt was still there even if he had gone, I couldn't just make it go away and I couldn't love someone else so quickly after losing Matt who I'd loved nearly my whole life. _No one can love someone else after losing someone so quickly! _But it was there, a sort of pull I'd never felt before. One that made my heart ache when I thought about leaving the small town of La Push and Paul behind.

"Crazy" I whispered to myself before getting into the small bed. I just needed sleep was all and then everything would be ok, or as ok as it could be.

_... The dinner was cook, the candles were lit and I was dressed to impress, or dressed to get laid after dinner! _

_Matt had been abroad on business and was due home within the hour and I was positively glowing with excitement. We'd never been good apart but every time he had to leave on business he would say '__Sometimes you have to be apart from people you love, but that doesn't make you love them any less. It makes you love them more'. _

_He had always been one for corny lines and each one he rattled off I would roll my eyes at but I would smile and secretly store those little moments away, when he would say something so incredibly cheesy yet so incredibly adorable. _

_The doorbell rang, echoing through the house as I ran from the kitchen after checking the chicken. _

"_Forgot your keys again" I said laughing as I opened the door only to find that it wasn't my Matt. _

"_Can I help you officers?" I asked. _

_The two police officers hand their hats tucked by their sides as they stood before me, there sober expression made my heart clench. _

"_Are you Miss Cavell?" one of them asked._

_I nodded, "Yes."_

"_May we come in" the other asked._

_I looked over my shoulder; I could see the candles flickering in the dim light. "I'm sorry but I'm expecting my boyfriend home soon, could you please tell me what this is about?" _

_They both shuffled their feet slightly before the oldest one looked at me, pity in his eyes. "It's about your boyfriend Miss Cavell, Matthew Johnson." _

_I gasped and clutched the door frame to keep me from falling. I didn't need them to say anything, their faces told me everything I needed to know but I didn't believe it. _

"_Where is he? What's happened?" _

_They both looked at each other as if neither wanted to tell me, like they were arguing without words on who should 'deal' with me. _

"_I'm afraid there was an accident," the older one of the two said. "Involving a truck and the car Matthew was in."_

_I sobbed, clutching the door frame tighter._

"_Maybe we should come inside Miss Cavell."_

_I shook my head. "Where is he, where's Matt?"_

_They both hung their heads, "I'm sorry Miss; he didn't make it." _

_That's when everything went black..._

I bolted upright, and took in three steady deep breathes. It happened often, that nightmare would always haunt me at least once a week. It was that day that changed everything for me, the day Nora Cavell died inside.

I got out of bed, checking my phone only to realise it was three O'clock in the morning, not a reasonable time for anyone to be up. I decided that a glass of water was needed, so I tried my hardest to be as silent as possible as I made my way to the kitchen, passing a sleeping Paul spread out on the couch.

I stopped and stared for a moment, he looked beautiful in his sleep, peaceful and I wanted nothing more than to stay and look at him forever, _snap out of it Nora _I told myself but I indulged in one last look.

"Did no one ever tell you it's rude to stare," I jumped and made a pathetic squeaking sound.

Paul was staring at me staring at him.

_Crap_

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>So second chapter done. Let me know what you think. Should I continue?


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